All the yellow with a fancy-pants high tea!! #1in10 #endometriosis #endomarchaust
Tag: endo
Endo & Us: Testing 1
When you finally get to see the docco you were part of and get to meet Endo Ambassador @melgreigradio at the #endomarchaust! Thank you #endoaustralia for hosting! #1in10 #allthefeels #endo #endthesilence #endometriosis (at Mercure Gold Coast Resort)
I’ll Endure Until I’m Cured
This is step six in the grow program: I’ll endure until I’m cured.
I will persevere and I will fight. When I feel I can no longer withstand the discomfort and pain I can turn to my sisters to give me strength until I can see a glimpse of hope again.
I can hold onto God’s promise that says one day I will be healed completely. I will have a beautiful, disease free body. So, even if there may be no cure (for me: endo, PCOS or depression) in my lifetime, I know one day I will be completely cured from all that hurts me today.
Don’t be Imprisoned by the Here and Now
It’s Endo awareness month; so I thought I’d share what hope looks like for me. Like many of us with endo and other chronic illness, we often have more than one issue we have to deal with in our lives. The primary problem becomes compounded by other issues; compromised immune systems, mental illness, chronic pain and other diseases. I’ve had clinical depression for 15 years and am convinced that it’s the reason why the pelvic pain moved from “acute” and “chronic.” It wasn’t until I learnt to manage the depression that I was able to manage the chronic pain – it was a vicious cycle. I was part of a “Grow Group” which is a 12 step program for mental illness (like AA).
Over the next week I will share three quotes from the Grow Blue Book (or the program). These have been one strategy that has enabled me to avoid reacting emotionally to the physical symptoms I regularly experience. It’s enabled me to gain a sense of control over something I have no control over. Even though I am trapped in an endo-infested body, it no longer infects my mind and heart. I am free!
Don’t be imprisoned by the ‘here and now.’ Nothing is forever. I am strong. One day there could be a cure. One day you may try a new treatment that helps. One day you will meet someone who understands and takes you seriously. Just because it sucks today, doesn’t mean it will “always” this sucky.
We can have hope by focusing on “facts,” not just fluffly positivity. We can have hope because we have been beautifully and wonderfully made by the creator of the universe. We can have hope because we have a purpose in life. We can have hope because we made it through the days past. We can have hope because we made it through today. We can have hope because every day endo awareness increases. We can have hope because science and technology is constantly evolving and developing. We can have hope because we have each other and we ARE loved.
I have hope because the God who made me loves me, supports me, cares for me, provides for me, sustains me and promises me a place in His new creation. Jesus death and resurrection has given me assured hope that one day I will be given a new body that will never be corrupted from rebelling against God’s good and perfect plan. I can look forward to Jesus returning, when, I will one day know true freedom and will be eternally safe from sickness, sadness and sin.
For more info on Grow check them out: http://www.grow.org.au
1 in 10
I support the 1 in 10 women with endometriosis! Discover how you can too at #EndoChallenge http://www.endochallenge.com http://thndr.me/Q91j4Bwww.endochallenge.com http://thndr.me/Q91j4B
Oh tea, how wonderful you are, making my flare-up bearable! #endo #T2 #teatime #tea #rainydays #keeptruckingon
18 Months
When I returned to the Northern Rivers I told myself I wanted to be well enough to return to work within 12-18 months. It seemed impossible, but I’ve always been a goal setter.
When I returned to the Northern Rivers my life was falling apart. The chronic pain had rendered me useless. I thought my life was going to be the endless pain cycle and an unproductive life… Which I came to accept.
When I returned to the Northern Rivers I thought I had lost everything – my health, my job, my husband, my independence, my ability to process information effectively and the list could go on. I was broken, rejected and hopeless.
The last 18 months have been horrible. They’ve also been filled with healing, joy, peace and love.
By the grace of God I found my purpose and worth in being His child, not in my abilities and work. I found healing from 15 years of mental illness. By the grace of God I can now manage pain I’ve had for over 4 & ½ years and becoming healthier day by day. By the grace of God I know I am loved and valued despite my short comings (and there are plenty). I’ve been able to continue to minister to Children.
By the grace of God I’ll be moving to Brisbane to return to vocational ministry and moving in with one of my dearest friends (also known as my heterosexual life partner).
By the grace of God I lost everything that was important to me so I could be reminded of how blessed I am that the perfect Shepherd found and rescued me. I have a greater understanding of the New Creation and suffering. I’ve learnt to come before my creator, hopeless and able to rely on Him.
I am so grateful for my wonderful friends and family. I am thankful for the illnesses that taught me resilience and gave me a drive to persevere. I am thankful for the pain clinic that taught me how to manage my illnesses while gaining control back over my body.
I am grateful for the grace of God that allowed for healing since returning to the Northern Rivers, 18 months ago.
What a waste!
So, I went to my surgeon to get some questions answered. He wouldn’t quickly reply to my e-mail, so I had to go in. 15 minutes and $140 later I was left with no hope at all, just a script for an injection called Zoladex, or Goserelin. Now, Goserelin is used in men to treat prostate cancer. It is used in women to treat certain breast cancers or a certain uterus disorder (endometriosis).
The worst part, which puts me in quite a dilemma, are the side-effects: lots of weight gain, anxiety and hot flushes. I don’t think is very wise then, for someone who already weighs over 110kg, has a unstable mental illness and over-heats to take suck medication.
Is further weight gain, added anxiety and more heat worth the great possibility of pain relief?… did I mention they are injections that last for 6 months, so “stopping” the treatment isn’t an option.
Oh the dilemma. Someone, please, make this decision easier!
Shower time? :(
So, I really need a shower. Like, REALLY… but the thought of standing up for that long is so daunting. I wish I had a bathtub.
“Pain Poem”
Pain;
feeling trapped
stuck
lost
helpless
completely hopless
trapped.
My eyes open,
I feel the ache
and when they close,
I’ve had no break.
It takes control, I try to fight
but the exhaustion , with its might
brings me down
again
again
again
and
again
…but I’ll try to overcome
but I won’t let it win
I’ll take courage and I’ll accept
these will be my first steps
as I do my best to learn
and my old life,
no longer mourned.
So, this is what I’ll do
relax and meditate,
pacing while I exercise.
I’ll stretch my muscles and my mind –
with courage
not fear
intertwined.
So, amongst the pain and struggle,
thankful I’ll still be
for the grace and endless mercies
my Lord has given me.
And as I wander slowly
through a world tainted by sin,
I’m now hopeful for what is to come:
the perfect healing heaven brings.
November 2013
Breaking Stigma 