Endo Bloat

So, in the last 3 months I’ve lost 11kgs. The doctors have been telling me for years that losing weight would make me feel much better. In a way they were right, it does feel nice putting on clothes that are now too big. It’s nice looking at my body and seeing that it’s smaller… but it’s made me feel worse about my endo.

11kgs ago, sure, I’d feel nauseous and bloated, but now I can SEE the bloat and can feel how swollen it is when I push on my tummy. Wearing pants and a seatbelt makes it worse. I didn’t realise I could feel more uncomfortable. It is actually really distressing.

I think I would almost rather be fat.

The Dreaded Endo-Bloat

So, in the last 3 months I’ve lost 11kgs. The doctors have been telling me for years that losing weight would make me feel much better. In a way they were right, it does feel nice putting on clothes that are now too big. It’s nice looking at my body and seeing that it’s smaller… but it’s made me feel worse about my endo.

11kgs ago, sure, I’d feel nauseous and bloated, but now I can SEE the bloat and can feel how swollen it is when I push on my tummy. Wearing pants and a seatbelt makes it worse. I didn’t realise I could feel more uncomfortable. It is actually really distressing.

I think I would almost rather be fat.

You’re *so* Lucky

Have you ever had the ‘joy’ of experiencing a conversation similar to this on a Sunday afternoon?
“What time do you start work tomorrow?”
“Ummm, I don’t work on Mondays.”
“ahhh, you’re so lucky!”

I lost count of the number of times I’ve had similar conversations. I understand that for most people not having to work on a Monday would be a gift, a luxury. But I don’t work Mondays, nor Wednesdays, Thursdays or Saturdays. Even the days I do work are only half days. I know many people would love to work only three days a week, but not me.

Many chronic illnesses can cause chronic fatigue, pain, vertigo, nausea, migraines, weak bladder or bowel, overwhelming sadness, debilitating anxiety, low immunity and muscle weakness. On top of the symptoms there is often pharmaceutical side effects; drowsiness, memory loss, reduced cognitive ability, excessive sweating, insomnia, anxiety, nausea, trouble breathing and heart palpitations, just to name a few.

If these symptoms and side effects can impact one’s ability to complete the simplest, everyday tasks, how much more can it minimise one’s capacity to maintain employment. If you have severe, chronic back pain, both manual labor and sitting for extended periods of time are not possible. If you have muscle weakness, you lose your ability to lift and hold things. If you’re always tired, your concentration lapses and therefore, productivity reduces. If you’re symptoms are sporadic, you may feel fine at 7 am, but by the time you leave for work an hour later you simply can’t. You have to call in sick last minute.

Personally, if I work more much more than 15 hours a week, my ability to do housework, study, exercise, cook healthily, socialise and participate in leisure activities decreases dramatically. Even then, 15 hours of work does not provide the income needed to live in Australia. Imagine adding the costs of doctors visits, tests, alternate therapies and medications to an already stretched budget. I can’t begin to imagine what I’d do with a full-time income.

I can only dream of a day when I may be able to have sustainable full-time work. If you have the capacity to a maintain full-time job and have managed to be employed full-time (which isn’t easy in itself), *you* are the lucky one. My full-time job is staying healthy and looking after my body. I don’t get paid for that. There is no financial gain. Instead, my job success relies on hiring a team of people to help and support me. It’s not cheap!

So, next time you are tempted to tell someone who doesn’t work full-time that they’re lucky because they don’t have to go into the office tomorrow, reconsider. Yes, maybe they do have the best job in the world, but maybe, just maybe, they don’t feel lucky. Maybe they would do almost anything to switch bodies and jobs with you because you are the lucky one.

My Brother is Super Talented!

Cannot believe I share DNA with this talent!!

@Regrann from @cats_pyjamas_ – A little spidey drawing for a good friend. #spider #huntsmen #drawing #blackandwhite #tattooart #art #tattoodesign #tat #arachnid #tattoos #stippling #pickupwhatimputtingdown #8leggedfreaks #frank #Regrann

You’re *so* lucky!

Have you ever had the ‘joy’ of experiencing a conversation similar to this on a Sunday afternoon?
“What time do you start work tomorrow?”
“Ummm, I don’t work on Mondays.”
“ahhh, you’re so lucky!”

I lost count of the number of times I’ve had similar conversations. I understand that for most people not having to work on a Monday would be a gift, a luxury. But I don’t work Mondays, nor Wednesdays, Thursdays or Saturdays. Even the days I do work are only half days. I know many people would love to work only three days a week, but not me.

Many chronic illnesses can cause chronic fatigue, pain, vertigo, nausea, migraines, weak bladder or bowel, overwhelming sadness, debilitating anxiety, low immunity and muscle weakness. On top of the symptoms there is often pharmaceutical side effects; drowsiness, memory loss, reduced cognitive ability, excessive sweating, insomnia, anxiety, nausea, trouble breathing and heart palpitations, just to name a few.

If these symptoms and side effects can impact one’s ability to complete the simplest, everyday tasks, how much more can it minimise one’s capacity to maintain employment. If you have severe, chronic back pain, both manual labor and sitting for extended periods of time are not possible. If you have muscle weakness, you lose your ability to lift and hold things. If you’re always tired, your concentration lapses and therefore, productivity reduces. If you’re symptoms are sporadic, you may feel fine at 7 am, but by the time you leave for work an hour later you simply can’t. You have to call in sick last minute.

Personally, if I work more much more than 15 hours a week, my ability to do housework, study, exercise, cook healthily, socialise and participate in leisure activities decreases dramatically. Even then, 15 hours of work does not provide the income needed to live in Australia. Imagine adding the costs of doctors visits, tests, alternate therapies and medications to an already stretched budget. I can’t begin to imagine what I’d do with a full-time income.

I can only dream of a day when I may be able to have sustainable full-time work. If you have the capacity to a maintain full-time job and have managed to be employed full-time (which isn’t easy in itself), *you* are the lucky one. My full-time job is staying healthy and looking after my body. I don’t get paid for that. There is no financial gain. Instead, my job success relies on hiring a team of people to help and support me. It’s not cheap!

So, next time you are tempted to tell someone who doesn’t work full-time that they’re lucky because they don’t have to go into the office tomorrow, reconsider. Yes, maybe they do have the best job in the world, but maybe, just maybe, they don’t feel lucky. Maybe they would do almost anything to switch bodies and jobs with you because you are the lucky one.

Good-bye… forever!

D Dear Mr Ninja Possum,
I used to think possums were cute, but you have shown me the truth!
After months of stealing out fruit, urinating on our front porch, waking us up at 2am, trashing our kitchen like a schoolie on the Gold Coast and forcing us to sleep with our windows shut in a Brisbane home with no fans, I wanted to feed you rat poison…. but when you BITE one of my guests without my permission after he fed you toast, you went too far.
Ha! I now live in a house with windscreens AND fans. So, it is with great pleasure and joy, I bid you goodbye. I truely hope the next tenants take longer than we did to realise that you were a possum, not a ‘rodent’ and they leave you bright green pellets for you to indulge in.
Yours sincerely,
Your friendly neighbour.

***The possum saga is over.***

Hairspray!

Musical number 6 #hairspraythemusical by #harvestraintheatrecompany with @hausoffro!! We were the only ones dancing in our seats, but we couldn’t help it with such an entertaining and high energy performance! #ayearofmusicals #hairsprayarenaspectacular #hairspraythemusical2016 #icanhearthebells #goodmorningbaltimore (at Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre)

Already… but not yet!

The beauty when your devotion is exactly what you needed to read. When my body is sore, fighting infections & extremely fatigued and all I can manage to do lay down but can’t seem to fall asleep. So grateful for the reminder that I live in the era of “already… but not yet!” Every day I am alive I can sing God’s praises while I await for my new creation body! #endo #spoonie #faith #comelordjesus #patience #sleep #keeptruckingon #cartwheelsinheaven