When I returned to the Northern Rivers I told myself I wanted to be well enough to return to work within 12-18 months. It seemed impossible, but I’ve always been a goal setter.

When I returned to the Northern Rivers my life was falling apart. The chronic pain had rendered me useless. I thought my life was going to be the endless pain cycle and an unproductive life… Which I came to accept.

When I returned to the Northern Rivers I thought I had lost everything – my health, my job, my husband, my independence, my ability to process information effectively and the list could go on. I was broken, rejected and hopeless.

The last 18 months have been horrible. They’ve also been filled with healing, joy, peace and love.

By the grace of God I found my purpose and worth in being His child, not in my abilities and work. I found healing from 15 years of mental illness. By the grace of God I can now manage pain I’ve had for over 4 & ½ years and becoming healthier day by day. By the grace of God I know I am loved and valued despite my short comings (and there are plenty). I’ve been able to continue to minister to Children.

By the grace of God I’ll be moving to Brisbane to return to vocational ministry and moving in with one of my dearest friends (also known as my heterosexual life partner).

By the grace of God I lost everything that was important to me so I could be reminded of how blessed I am that the perfect Shepherd found and rescued me. I have a greater understanding of the New Creation and suffering. I’ve learnt to come before my creator, hopeless and able to rely on Him.

I am so grateful for my wonderful friends and family. I am thankful for the illnesses that taught me resilience and gave me a drive to persevere. I am thankful for the pain clinic that taught me how to manage my illnesses while gaining control back over my body.

I am grateful for the grace of God that allowed for healing since returning to the Northern Rivers, 18 months ago.